The Blessing Leading the Blind

On my way home from work tonight I received a beautiful opportunity to witness a blessing as it was happening. I was sitting in my car, just zoning out after my busy day, when I looked at the people crossing the street and saw a blind woman making her way, slowly, across the street. She had her red and white walking stick to ensure she didn't bump into anything. Then, out of no where, a young man took her arm and guided her across the street.

On any other day, with any other person, this young man would have been greeted with a scream. He must have been in his very late teens or very early 20's, African American, dressed in black jeans, shirt and cap and he had rather large ear phones on...the old school ones. But today was his lucky day. He got to help someone out who couldn't see him and couldn't judge him by his looks. As the two glided across the busy intersection, they both smiled and exchanged a few words. And when he got her across, they said their goodbye's and each went in separate directions.

Tonight this man can go to sleep knowing that he did something great. He got the biggest blessing of all and a few of us lucky ones, who watched in amazement and awe from our cars, were reminded what it meant to be kind and giving despite our looks.

Count Your Blessings, Not Your Age

Last month I decided to throw my husband a 40th birthday party. I discussed it with him and he was in! I suggested a 70's theme (since he was born in the 70's), but he asked for an 80's theme instead. The 80's really were great! So we both agreed and I went into party planning mode.

Every time I came home with a bag of party stuff, my husband would ask how much I spent. When I brought home a variety of beers he bitched and moaned because he didn't like one of them...even though I got him his very own 8 pack of his favorite beer! When I hired the DJ/Karaoke guy, he winced and said he didn't need it (after I already signed the contract). He became my biggest pain in the ass! My husband brought new meaning to crotchety old man!

So instead of dealing with him, I started to leave the party stuff in my car and brought it inside the house when he wasn't home or asleep! I didn't tell him how much anything cost and hardly even spoke about the party. When he questioned me, I avoided the questions.

The party was last night. Every person who came to the party couldn't believe how amazing of a party we I put on! The alcohol was flowing, the DJ was doing his thing (quiet well if you ask me or....everyone), the details were noticed (the Fun Dip, candy cigs, Pac Man available on two TV sets and the Rubik's cubes around the house) and the food was phenomenal. Everyone had a great time from start to finish.....even the husband. He even serenaded me at some point, doing a karaoke song that he sang to me when we dated!

I'm not sure what exactly the husband was expecting. Maybe he thought he'd get a keg and he and his friends would play 80's CDs! To me, this putting on this party was more than spending some cash on the details. It was more about finding a way of showing my husband just how much his friends and family (especially me) love him...even if he's 40!

Age is just a number, it's how you handle yourself through the numbers in life that matters most. Count your blessings, not your years. In the end, it's the blessings that matter most.

What BFF Means to Me

Most people believe that BFF is an acronym for Best Friends Forever, but I have a hard time with that. I truly believe that friends come into your life for a reason. Some just pass through, some stay for a brief moment and others hang out for much longer. To me, if you are truly lucky enough to find a friend who does stick around forever, that's called a blessing. If you are lucky to have a blessing that big, then BFF doesn't stand for Best Friends Forever - rather Blessings From a Friend.

The biggest blessings that a friend can give you is unconditional support, a listening ear and honesty. Sometimes it take a long time to realize that those qualities are detrimental to a friendship. My daughter is nine and she's dealing with fourth grade drama on a daily basis. One day this girl doesn't like that girl and the next day that girl isn't invited to the other girls slumber party....and it just doesn't end. Most of us go through the same thing as we grow up, it's part of our journey - It shapes who we are.

For me, it's hard to explain to my daughter about friends and what they should be because it took me until my 30's to find my BFF. I had this girl who used to only call me when she didn't have a date or anything else to do and that friend who had a serious case of the "me" disease and just wanted someone to listen to her!

My BFF came when I wasn't looking. My family and I had just moved into our very first house and didn't know anyone. Eventually we ventured out and found our neighbors. Our neighbors are the type who come outside on a warm summer night and play & talk until the street lights come on. Everyone watches out for each other and they've all pretty much become our second family. But there is one person among the group who remains my biggest blessing.

It took a little while for us to really get to know each other, to learn to communicate with one another and to find our common threads, but once we found our way to each other, there was no doubt in my mind that she really was my BFF. She became my unconditional support, listening to everything I said, and she was honest in her feedback. She gave and continues to give of herself as a blessing every day, as do I to her.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm also married to my best friend (my husband) who also offers me support, a listening ear and honesty, but every woman should have another BFF, outside of the family. I truly believe that because of Brandy, I'm a better wife and mother. I'm a better employee and an even better friend. She's my sounding board, my biggest cheerleader and the woman has everything and is willing to share. God only knows when you need to borrow a waffle maker!

And so now, I feel that I am better equipped to explain to my daughter what it means to have a true friend and I am that much more thankful to my BFF Brandy for teaching me how.

Phenomenally Free

What does it mean to be free? I suppose I don't mean being free as in "I was a slave and I was freed" or "Really....I get a free sample?" Free to change your world. Free to make other decisions just because you can. Free to let loose and be spontaneous.

Free -adjective:
Able to do something at will; at liberty

I ask because suddenly I've realized just how un-free I think I am. I am NOT able to do something at will in my life because everything and everyone in my life depends on me. I work full time out of the house because my husband is an ar-tee-st and he only makes money when he has jobs. So Monday thru Friday I work for the man...no really, I work for a very tall man...but he's another post in itself! I work so my family eats, has shelter and all the necessities (and then some) they require. I also work so we can take a vacationto Disneyworld and have annual passes to the zoo.

After I work I come home to two beautiful kids under the age of nine who literally cling on to me because they missed me. So we spend the next three hours attached at the hip as we move together through the house and pick up the days clutter, make dinner, shmooze, finish left over homework that daddy didn't get to, bath time, book time and finally, bed time.

After all that I finally sink into the brown, leather couch and dive into the World Wide Web, where I find my happy place for a brief moment. But that brief moment is cut when the ar-tee-st emerges from his man cave and shoots me the look, followed by his very thick, Persian eyebrow flutter. It's his mating call. And so I know that having sex with your partner is important to sustain a relationship (according to Oprah) and so I get up to give even more of myself.

And after all that...I sleep. Are you as exhausted as I am?

I pose the question about being free because suddenly I am looking around and I see lots of people around me being free. My dear friend lost her job late last year and picked up her entire family and moved to Sweden. Sold everything and just up and left. And now the pictures she posts on Facebook are that of a serene family at peace. My mother in law took extended leave from work and decided to take a trip to the middle east on Sunday and she's already talking about maybe staying longer. A few people of work decided to up and quit their jobs with no back up plan in site. Free - Able to do something at will.

So I pose the question again...mostly to myself...what does it mean to be free? Are all of the above people really that free? One lost her job and had to change her entire family's lives. One wasn't happy in her world and decided she needed to see another place. The people at work....well I'm not really sure what the story was there....but no plan? Who knows. Maybe they are truly free.

Maybe, somehow, being free equates to an attempt to finding happiness. Finding oneself. Being at peace or knowing you are blessed. If that's the case, then I must be phenomenally free. Maybe it is my will to provide for my family and give of myself. Maybe it is my will to be blessed with people who love, want and need me. I don't know. And truly, I guess this is all part of my journey. But, I suppose, having the journey to begin with is the blessing of being free.

The New Year and All I Knew

Happy New Year. Tonight people will celebrate, stay up way passed their bed times, drink too much and probably remember their evenings as a big blur! Not me. Tonight I am home with my family and a bowl of ice cream. I am home, safe. At midnight I will hear the gun shots from the hood a few blocks done the street and some of my neighbors screaming with Dick Clark and Ryan Seacrest. The bowl of ice cream? Well....the diet and work out begins tomorrow right?!

On New Years, people reflect on what their prior year has been like and then hope that their year ahead will be better. I ordinarily do the same; However, this year I didn't only reflect, I also realized just how many blessings I had. My year wasn't even that wonderful. I had a lot of ups and downs...but the downs were pretty extreme. But even through it all, I was completely aware of my blessings. Maybe this is what getting older is all about. I've heard that in your 30's and 40's you gain a sense of clarity and really, I'm right smack in the middle between those two ages!

In 2011 I have no expectations of others, just myself....as per my previous post! I expect that I will hold myself accountable for my health and the well being of my body. I expect that I will be a better wife and mother. But most of all, I expect that I will continue to give of myself and be able to forever count my blessings.

And with that, I wish you a happy new year filled with many blessings.

The Young & The Old...and Everything In Between

Today was my nephew's first birthday party. His mom held the party at one of those indoor playgrounds that I tend to have a love/hate relationship with. I love them because my children play to their hearts content without needed supervision from me, but I hate them because I'm a germ-a-phobe and I just know places like that are filled with boogery, snot-nosed, lice infested children. And when my boy comes running around the corner, licking his hands from the piece of birthday cake he just ate, before I could tell him to disinfect his hands, it just makes my stomach curl.
In attendance at the party was my grandmother-in-law (picture of me and said in law to the left) who, I'm told, is in her mid-80's, but looks like she's 114. She allegedly does not speak a word of English, but tends to laugh without being prompted at the right times. This woman sat in one place for the entire three hour party. I kept checking on her because, really....who does that?! I'll tell you who does that...a woman who has lived her entire life to experience the joy of her great-great-grandson. She was determined to watch him run around with his green balloon and toothy grin. She didn't want to miss him stuffing (and smearing) his face with vanilla frosting from his cake. She wanted to offer her lap when he was so over stimulated that he just wanted to be held. Why? Because that's what great-great-grandmother's do.

I never knew either of my great-great-grandmothers because neither one of them lived long enough to know me. The fact that I didn't know them really hasn't saddened me until tonight. It just makes me sad that I wasn't the reason for my great-great-grandmother's joy, or rather I wasn't able to give either one of them the opportunity for that joy.

What I do hope and pray for, however, is that one day, I too will be able to watch my great-great-grandson/daughter celebrate their birthdays. I know for sure that the only way for that to happen to to ensure I take care of myself now and that journey in itself will be my biggest blessing.