Found my Best Friend, But Lost Something Else!

So after my last blog post about loosing my best friend, I wrote her an email and just put it out there. I gave my side of the story and how it made me feel and I told her that this could be closure for me and goodbye, or not. She responded in much the same way (still no apology). I responded with "We can either meet in the middle of the road and hug it out....or not." Then, like it was out of a movie scene, all of the lights came on in her front yard and she came running out the front door. Then I went running out my door and with the Chariots of Fire theme song playing in the background (no, not really!) we hugged it out in the middle of the road. Did I mention she lives across the street? Turns out that she is moving soon and although we made up....I'm sure it'll never be as it once was. But my heart feels better knowing it's not completely lost.

In other news....after nearly 12 years at the same company, working for the same man, I've been laid off! No warning. Just BAMO! Bu Bye! They lost a big client and a bunch of people were laid off. I'm still in shock. I was so loyal to the man I worked for (the president).  I could have completely ruined him and I didn't. I was so loyal to him and did EVERYTHING for him. Through all of his infidelities and scum-ball moves....I was there. I was a vault. So for him to sit before me telling me it was the end of the road, it was just a slap in the face really. He has a friend of the family working for him there.....why not let go of that guy who was only there for a few months and really hasn't contributed much? Why me?

The moment I got in my car after the lay off I cried my eyes out. I got home, stood in front of my door and made a decision to just let it go. What's done is done and there wasn't one thing I could do to change it. I put my four boxes of 12 years to the side and set up shop on my dining room table. My laptop, some writing pads, my calendar and my cell phone. I got to work looking for work. I updated my resume, submitted it to all relevant and open jobs and reached out to every contact I knew who might be able to help. It's been one week and I haven't gotten any bites. I know that it doesn't happened so fast and so I keep on it and wait.

So the name of this blog is Blessings Within....so where are the blessings in all of this? Well, I can't say I was too happy at the previous job. The last pain was that they gave me a promotion with no raise and kicked me out of my office into a cube. That should have been my first clue that I needed to go. Also, I haven't cried one more tear after that fateful day. Truth is, they gave me a check for 205 hours of unused vacation time....so I'm still technically on vacation! I did get a severance check, which should take me to December. So getting out of what wasn't healthy for me and being forced to focus on my future is the blessing in all of this. I know I'll be ok. I will find the next job and it'll be new and scary, but I will succeed. And if that new job doesn't come quickly enough, then we will make adjustments to make it work. I'm not worried. A little scared, but not yet worried. Ask me again in another month or two and we'll see.

The biggest blessing really is the time I get to spend with my kids. To be able to drive them to school, pick them up and be with them during homework and all is the best thing ever. I have never been without a job so it's kinda nice to experience all that I've missed. The hard part is spending a lot (more than I ever wanted) of time with the hubby. He talks a lot, and he sleeps a lot, and he always wants to know what I'm looking at on the computer. Kinda of annoying when I'm trying to concentrate! I suppose it's just learning to get used to it for now.

I do have to say that I'm ready to find and stop loosing. But I know that sometimes we have to go thru pain to get to the good stuff. I know this is all a learning lesson and a way for me to grow in some capacity.

Oh and I also got my very own article picked up over at Business2Community.com and it was even the featured story. So I guess I still have it....even without the old job.

I'm excited to read my next chapter.